Betty ford says i'm here all night
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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