She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
