You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.