did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
one might say we're banned from that church
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.