I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal