I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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