Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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