Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Text me some of your sweat
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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