If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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