We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
