no, he came in my armpit
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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