He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
