Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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