i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
