Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
