Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
