: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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