just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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