Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
