So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
