I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
