Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
