you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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