OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
