That's intense
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
