That's intense
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
