I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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