Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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