apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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