Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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