Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
