Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
