Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
