Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
