D3 body, D1 cock
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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