hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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