We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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