So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
