if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize