hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
