I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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