I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
