Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
COCAINE IS GR8
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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