I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
