So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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