Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
