It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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