remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
