need another drink. this is the easiest way
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
