Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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