Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
