my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
