Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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