Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
