Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
