I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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