11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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