He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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