I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
