I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can I color on your dick again?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
