Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
