found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
