I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize