don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
