??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
