then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
